Stress makes menopause symptoms worse & menopause causes stress – it can feel like an endless vicious cycle.
Meno-rage is a very real, very frightening symptom for many women especially during their peri-menopause.
Meno-rage is that intense irritability & frustration what erupts without warning. We are so used to juggling so much & suddenly 1 more responsibility pushes us over the edge.
I have real experiences of meno-rage. When my youngest was a toddler I was admitted into hospital for treatment for severe agitated depression.
Menopause or peri-menopause didn’t even cross my mind. In all honesty I probably hadn’t heard the term peri-meno then & if I had thought it only happened to women in their 50’s. Now I can reflect back on that time with clarity: it was the beginning of my meno journey.
Of course the treatment only worked to a point because the diagnosis was wrong.
For many years I beat myself up ending up completely overwhelmed & exploding in rage. I described it as 0-100 in a nanosecond. I felt like I was letting everyone down & such a cr*p mum.
Then during the 1st lockdown, I felt like I was base-lining at a 7/10 triggered, so the silliest thing sent me over the edge. I hated myself & couldn’t believe it was all happening again. We’d just moved in with my partner & I felt like the quintessential evil step mum.
Then I realised with relief that I wasn’t going mad. It was caused by the toxic combination of hormonal fluctuations & a very stressful living environment. I also discovered it had an actual term: meno-rage. and that 60% of women will report experiencing adverse behavioural changes during the menopause, meno-rage.
I knew what I had to do: tackle the hormones, the other symptoms were also so bad I knew HRT was the only viable option to give me the head space to do the inner work I also knew I was being called to do & so we moved out so that I had the physical, mental & emotional space to do that work & heal.
Dr Lisa Mosconi explains that chronic stress floods the system with adrenaline & cortisol. Which are created by stealing from the hormone pregnenolone, which reduces the production of oestrogen, progesterone & testosterone. This is obviously not helping things during the menopause.
Low levels of pregnenolone are known to cause irritability…bosh: 0-100 in a nanosecond.
When we over react this floods the system with more cortisol which also makes the amgydala, the centre for our fight or flight response, more sensitive & it’s really easy to see how WE FEEL STUCK IN vicious circle .
Layer on the additional fear of not knowing then these outbursts are going to strike next & the shame & guilt of over-reacting & it’s no wonder many of us are struggling with meno-rage.
Now my meno-rage symptoms are pretty much absent. The jury for me is still very much out on HRT & I am feeling drawn more & more to a more holistic approach but I appreciate HRT will have made an impact.
But I do really believe that simple self-care rituals that for me revolve around yoga, meditation, time in nature, gratitude & investing in my own personal, spiritual & business development are critical to easing all of my meno symptoms.
Self-care calms the nervous system, lowering stress levels by activating the parasympathetic nervous system. This brings our body back into balance & alignment. Helping to balance out the symptoms of menopause which I believe are sign for to pause, slow down, turn inwards, put ourselves first for the first time in our lives.
There is just no point in putting others first to the point of pushing yourself over the edge, to the point that you are exploding in overwhelm.
It’s absolutely vital during the menopause that you put yourself first. It really helps to give your body & mind space & time to heal. It also creates the space & time for you reflect & reframe your meno experience.
This has been critical in my own healing. I don’t see my menopause as this awful thing that happened to me but happened for me. Enabling me to heal & grow.
Reframing meno-rage as a cleansing process of letting go can also be a very powerful way to release its hold.
What we resist persists: meno-rage tends to persist if we keep trying to push it away instead of embracing it for the lessons it holds, after all what we accept tends to dissipate. Moving towards an outburst, welcoming the wisdom they hold takes some of the fear away & that starts to break the vicious cycle of them.
And in just in the same way self-care also breaks this cycle creating virtuous circles instead. And that’s where our power lies.