When I launched my first yoga business in Germany I called it Master Yoga. It was a play on words & homage to my kids: Master Yoda being somewhat of a hero in our house!
However, because you would never bestow the honour of being a Yoga Master on yourself, that is an honour that someone else bestows on you, I always felt I had to explain it so no-one thought I was being arrogant.
When we moved back to the UK, it was time to re-launch my business & time for a re-branding.
I settled on MYAnanda for several reasons…
MY represents mindfulness & yoga & also ‘my’ or ‘me’. Ananda is sanskrit for bliss.
So Mindfulness & Yoga for Bliss, which also translates to ‘my bliss’. Mindfulness & Yoga are of course my bliss, so much so I qualified to teach them so I could share this gift with others. The time on my yoga mat & meditation cushion are moments of peace & calm & a real sense of bliss comes over me.
I’ve also got lots of A’s & N’s & D’s in my name so MYAnanda it’s somewhat reflective of my name!
However, it wasn’t until recently when I was reflecting on the journey I have been through this year, that I really feel like my brand took on a whole new meaning.
Like many, this year has been a struggle. I have reached some pretty low points & experienced some really dark times.
Throughout lockdown I was manically meditating & frantically yoga-ing & whilst the practices undoubtedly gave me a few moments of peace & calm whilst I was doing them, they just weren’t translating into my life.
We were living with my partner at the time & he even said to me one day: I’m not sure if yoga & meditation just don’t work or if you would be properly mental without them. I burst out laughing & said without skipping a heart beat: I would be properly f-bomb mental without them!
But I knew something was wrong, I knew my energy was all wrong. I was practicing out of fear.
Fear that if I didn’t practice things would go even more pear-shaped & that’s why it wasn’t translating into my life. I felt like I was hanging on by my finger tips to a cliff edge & if I didn’t practice, I would just slide off into the abyss.
There was lots of other stuff going on beyond blending families amidst a global pandemic. I had the most awful brain fog & was so terribly forgetful I honestly thought I had early onset dementia…I later discovered it was menopause. And no-one talk about all this!
After this discovery, then I was trying to decipher what was menopause, having had a brush with mental health many years earlier, what was mental health & what was just me. I was lost, stuck & totally broken.
I really believe in the energy of the universe, that what we put out comes back to us & this is how we manifest. I’ve seen it at work: I manifested amazing schools & a great first home here in the UK in just 2 weeks when we relocated back to the UK…a time frame I have never seen replicated in the 12 years I was overseas.
So I knew that if my joo-joo was all wrong, all that ‘wrong’ energy would just keep coming back to me.
But I just didn’t know what to do. It felt so long since I had felt joyful, been happy or had fun that I just didn’t know how to anymore. And that frightened me even more.
Then I had the insight & opportunity to slow down & I leapt at it. I just stopped, slowed down, got still & silent & turned inwards. And that’s when it came to me: I could just CHOOSE to be happy, I could choose fun & joy & love.
I was so desperate, so utterly unhappy, totally broken & absolutely bereft, I didn’t have any other options left to me.
We’d moved out, I couldn’t make the relationship work. We were technically homeless, house-sitting thankfully for friends who were away. OMGosh I am so grateful for their generosity: we had a bed to sleep in, a roof over our heads & time to find somewhere to live.
So I just stopped & decided all that was left for me to do was to choose love, joy, fun & happiness. Not in a contrived, zip-lining, jazz-hands, poker face type of way, just in a gentle I’m gonna choose to slow down & have fun. And I did.
I started practicing again but this time for the pure love & joy of doing so, instead of out of fear. I began noticing favourite tunes coming on the radio, which to me were a little nod from the universe that I was on the right track. I just surrendered, slowed down, got still & silent, turning inwards & loved doing so.
We found somewhere to live back in town & the kids are relishing being so close to friends & walking to school. In just 4 months, the transition is unbelievable, light & day from the summer months to now. We all reflected only recently how we are the happiest we have ever been here in Evesham. I can honestly say I have a sense of real inner peace, absolute bliss I had only ever dreamed of.
And although there were many layers to the onion of recovery & finding that bliss within, most of it came down to my practices, mindfulness & yoga, nature, gratitude, choosing happiness, joy, fun & love, slowing down & getting still & silent & turning inwards for guidance & inspiration, and of course it is also the culmination of many years of spiritual practice & several light-bulb, aha moments.
I have been exploring my human design as part of the spiritual awakening I have experienced these past few months & having a purpose, a meaning & feel fulfilled is hugely important in my human design. During lockdown I was responsible for parenting & home schooling my 2 kids & my partner’s son so all the other adults’ in our kids lives could continue working.
Last time I was at home in such a capacity with my kids they were babies & toddlers & needed me. During lockdown I was only needed as a part-time referee & general supervisor but I didn’t have a purpose as such. I also didn’t have the headspace to transition my business online like many had, which was a cause of frustration.
Since moving out I have thrown myself back into my business, rediscovering the love I have for what I do. Clients have returned, new clients have discovered me, a humble yoga in the park session has evolved into 4 new classes & in the latest lockdown we transitioned all the classes onto Zoom seamlessly. I have my purpose & meaning back & the oh so important sense of fulfilment.
So although 2020 has been one of the toughest years with some of the darkest moments, the lessons, the growth, the healing & transformation has been amazing, life changing, a real sense of spiritual awakening. And in the process I have found my bliss.
Of course, life will inevitably trip us up & those are yet more opportunities for spiritual growth. There is no end point, we will always keep learning & growing & that is also part of the bliss.
If you would like to know how you too can find your bliss send me an email to alex@myananda.co.uk quoting 28 days to bliss & I will send you the information for my fantastic new program 28 days to Bliss launching in the New Year.