I have shared a lot about my meno journey.
It hasn’t always been a pretty journey. And it hasn’t until recently given me much space to reflect on the prelude.
I have learnt more & more about the menopause, what is happening physiologically, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually to our bodies, minds & lives through this life changing transition. I appreciate what our menopausal years are inviting us to do: slow down, turn inwards to do the inner work. I understand that if we don’t take this time this will hinder our emergence into our second spring, resplendent & ready to embrace the best years of our life.
But up until recently I really hadn’t considered my peri-menopausal years. I was diagnosed when my daughter was a toddler with severe agitated depression. I recently discovered a staggering large % of peri-menopausal women (I’ve heard estimates of up to 90%) are misdiagnosed with mental health problems & I began to question my own diagnosis over a decade ago.
Then I was asked to review Kate Codrington’s Second Spring. I had heard the term second spring; it’s a more poetic term for menopause favoured by the Japanese.
My own experiences are calling me to support other women in their meno journey with tips & techniques I know work because I’ve used them myself. They are based on over a decade of teaching yoga & mindfulness around the work & many more years practicing them. So I was intrigued by Kate’s take on all things menopausal.
I was hooked after the first paragraph! Highlighting useful insights in my own journey, helpful tips, facts & figures, poignant quotes.
Kate’s ethos really resonates with mine: the menopausal journey is an invitation to slow down, turn inwards, revaluate, reflect, accept, surrender. Investing in yourself during this time, nurturing & nourishing yourself, making any necessary changes you will emerge resplendent into the best years of your life. If you don’t take this time it can well, it can bite you on the bum.
And the same is true for the peri-menopause. The symptoms can be very similar because the hormones are fluctuating wildly. The invitation is to let go, release, cleanse, detox & that may feel like a need to withdraw & separate.
These hormonal changes can make us extremely sensitive to noise, stress, anything really that previously we weren’t; we may feel lost, confused, have brain fog, feel like we’re going mad.
Not to mention a whole host of physical symptoms you may have never even thought to associate with the peri-meno: dizziness, random aches, pains & stiffness, heart palpitations, urinary tract infections, digestive problems, sore boobs – the list is seemingly endless just as it is with the menopause.
I know I certainly experienced some of these & definitely the mental & emotional overwhelm. But having been diagnosed with severe agitated depression, peri-meno never even crossed my mind…until now.
It was Kate’s own description of her peri-meno years raising toddlers & babies which so profoundly resonated with my own experience as a new Mum. I had my kids late: my son when I was 37 & my daughter at 40. I lost 2 babies to miscarriage between the kids & was merrily described as geriatric mother when I felt my most vulnerable.
I adore my kids, I love being a mum, we were blessed to live overseas in supportive & fun expat communities. But I found it hard, really hard. I often felt completely overwhelmed like I was drowning. I felt like a tremendous failure because I felt like I couldn’t cope. I wasn’t the mum, partner, woman I wanted to be. I felt like a terrible mum. And I hated myself for letting everyone down.
Reading Kate’s account it hit me with absolute clarity: I had been going through the peri-menopause. When I most needed space I was constantly surrounded my little people depending on me for every need. No wonder I felt like I was drowning.
I felt a profound sense of relief, acceptance & was finally able to release the dreadful shame & guilt of the old, unhelpful, critical narrative that I was a cr*p mum, unable to cope with motherhood, letting everyone down. I felt a real sense of liberation & freedom.
I also discovered that past trauma, the quality of our relationships, even the quality of the support we have post-natally & in our parenting endeavours can have direct influences on our menopause journey. And of course if you don’t resolve the issues that arises in peri-meno then the likelihood is that your meno journey will even more bumpy to catch your attention.
I realised that with so many more women having their kids later in life, there must be many thousands of women out there struggling with peri-meno whilst juggling the relentless responsibility & demands babies & toddlers bring & we’re just not talking about it.
I have experienced first hand how peri-meno can cause havoc in your life & how unresolved it can impact your meno journey even more further down the line.
My meno journey menopause broke me but gave me the opportunity to embrace what was happening to me, turning even more unapologetically to my practices to support me on a journey that has transformed my life.
Now I can actually say I am grateful for this life-changing transition breaking me into a million pieces to let the light in & allowing the healing to begin. Although at the time I doubt I would’ve said that!
I believe this is one of the gifts of menopause – a time of healing, growth & transformation: a beautiful spiritual journey.
