During the first lockdown I kept getting the same message: slow down! It would come to me as I was meditating, practicing yoga or just doing normal chores. Even my partner noticed it & kept telling me to slow down
The thing was I just didn’t feel I could slow down. There was SO much to do: 3 kids to home school, a house to run & renovate, 3 dogs to be walked, a business to revive…the list was endless. I felt like I had to keep ‘do-ing’ to keep on top of it all.
On top of the endless to do list, I upp’d my meditation practice but instead of doing this because I wanted to do it, I was doing it because I felt I HAD to do it. I felt the same about my yoga practice…I HAD to do it. Even walking the dogs, which has always been a joy to me, to get out in nature, a time to process or just be, started to be a race, just get it down.
Why did I feel like this? Well I was feeling really fragile, really very not myself. Very lost. Broken even. I felt like I was clinging on to a cliff edge by my finger tips. If I didn’t practice yoga or meditate it would all go horribly tits-up.
Of course, my yoga & meditation practice wasn’t ‘working’ because I wasn’t practicing for the joy of it because I wanted to but because I needed to. The energy was all wrong.
I also realized with horror that I just wasn’t having fun. I felt like I had forgotten how to have fun, how to be joyful, how to be happy. I was terrified I would never know how to be happy, have fun or find joy ever again. I wondered if I would ever enjoy my practice again.
I was a mess. I was miserable. I felt like I had let everyone down. But I was broken. I just couldn’t do any of it anymore. And then the lesson that had been hitting me over the head all the way through lockdown finally registered…slow down.
And that’s what I did. I finally, after something ridiculous like 20 weeks, had a much needed break from solo parenting when the kids finally both went to their Dad’s. I had a whole week to myself. So I just stopped. And I slowed down.
I recalled a time when we moved back to the UK & I had been feeling really down, missing our old spontaneous, sociable expat life & I had realized I just had to change my perception. It’s all I could do. So I literally made the decision to choose to see things differently. Nothing changed but of course everything did.
And I realized that was the key to me finding my joy, fun & happiness again: I simply had to choose to be happy, choose to have fun, choose to be joyful.
I decided to practice if & when I wanted to…so I did & I started loving being back on my yoga mat & on my meditation cushion. It was a joy instead of a chore.
I choose to enjoy my daily walks in nature again just for the love of being outside. I even managed to laugh when the dog rolled in a muddy puddle to cool herself, just like an elephant rolls in mud to cool itself. A week before that would’ve just felt like another sodding thing to do, wash her. Instead I literally laughed out loud on my own in the middle of a field!
I binge watched Big Little Lies & OMGosh how I relished slowing down, watching several episodes in a sitting. It felt like such a wonderful extravagance, a decadence, an absolute treat.
I thoroughly enjoyed my week to myself. I cancelled plans, so I could just be alone, still & silent. It was an absolute joy. A revelation. Who knew slowing down would be so much fun?
Then last week after finishing Jay Shetty’s Think like a Monk, I decided to follow his advice & set an intention for the day. I sometimes set an intention for my yoga practice or when I’m teaching a class but it hadn’t occurred to me to set an intention for my day.
What another revelation! Setting a simple intention at the beginning of the day, somehow holds you more accountable all day as you remember that you choose to set this intention & so only you can choose to live it.
Life had started getting a bit busier, the ole to do list was creeping up, a slight sense of frenzy, a vague dose of overwhelm & so I decided to set the intention to slow down.
Last lockdown I kept getting the message to slow down & it was like lockdown #2 was going to be a reminder to slow down again. And in many ways it was the perfect opportunity as life was once again slowing down & becoming slightly simpler & easier, less places to be & things to do…hurrah, the perfect opportunity to slow down!
Having set the intention daily to slow down, I felt accountable, so if I felt myself getting overwhelmed by all that I had to do, I reminded myself to slow down.
Maybe I would do a short meditation to centre & ground myself again, or just take a couple of longer slower, smoother breaths to ground myself back in the moment.
Sometimes it was a simple as reminding myself that the universe gives us what we need & no more than we can cope with.
Or remembering that whatever didn’t get done could wait for another day, when the time was right.
And you know what? I actually got more done. Yeah read that again: I got more done! By being more focused on one task, by being more centred & grounded, I just achieved more.
There’s a lovely Zen proverb: if you don’t have time to meditate for 20 mins, meditate for an hour.
That extra time, getting still, turning inwards, slowing down, gave me time & space to receive inspiration & guidance on how to move forwards.
And by slowing down I actually had time to acknowledge what I had achieved, to take a moment to saviour the accomplishment. Having enough time to enjoy & reflect on an accomplishment is so important.
By slowing down I found my joy, my fun, my happiness again. I rediscovered the joy, peace & calm of practicing yoga & meditation. My energy shifted: I was calmer, happier, more content. I also realised with delight that I was just flowing, which Is a beautiful place to be in, so it didn’t even feel like work or mundane stuff.
This is of course where the magic lies, by changing my vibration by slowing down & choosing fun, joy & happiness, more of those beautiful vibes were coming right back at me!
I was no longer racing towards the destination; I was now enjoying the journey…& that’s really the whole point.
So instead of racing through life, barely noticing the joyful moments in the most mundane activity or even having time to reflect something you have achieved, why not slow down? Enjoy a slower, slightly easier & simpler pace of life & notice how much more enriching life becomes.
And if you would like to bring some more yin to your yang life & really slow down in your yoga practice, please message me at alex@myananda.co.uk & ask about my yin yoga classes or investigate some of the free resources on my Facebook Group Mindfulness & Yoga for Self-Care https://www.facebook.com/groups/MindfulnessYoga4Relationships