I am a huge advocate for self-care. I practice it daily. Not in a self-absorbed, self-indulgent, time consuming fashion. In a more unapologetic & embracing way.
I believe self-care is not a luxury, it is a necessity.
I first started practicing self-care when my youngest was about 18 months old. I had been diagnosed with severe agitated depression & admitted to hospital for 5 weeks. We were living in Germany at the time, so it was quite a challenging time.
It was whilst I was being treated in hospital that I began practicing yoga daily, meditating, spending more time in nature & started writing in my gratitude journal. It served me well & helped me to recover. So well in fact it is what inspired me to train to teach yoga & mindfulness. I wanted to share these gifts with others so they wouldn’t have to suffer like I did.
But it always felt like something was ‘missing’. We returned to the UK in the midst of divorce & I always felt like I was doing something wrong when inevitably I came a cropper.
Once I started to accept that my practices did not stop challenges arising, for that is the nature of existence: setbacks are inevitable. What is within our realm of scope is how we respond to them. Welcoming the learning, healing & growth that is also an inevitable part of any experience & these setbacks are more like bumps in the road than ruddy great potholes. Practicing self-care helped me to discover these kind of perspectives.
However, during the first lockdown I thought I was going mad. Or had early onset dementia such was the severity of brain fog & forgetfulness. I struggled with 0-100 in nanosecond, anxiety & panic attacks.
I knew what I had to do: I practiced daily, diligently, almost obsessively. Things were so bad I was terrified that if I didn’t practice things would get even worse. Of course I had some respite from the chaos whilst I was on my yoga mat or meditation cushion but it didn’t translate into my life because I was practicing from a place of fear & doubt.
As soon as I realized my error & chose to practice just for the sheer joy & love of doing so, the peace & calm I experienced in my practiced translated into my daily life.
So I can’t tell you what a relief it was to discover that what I was experiencing was more likely menopause. I knew I could do something about it. I did resort to HRT. I felt I was beyond flower petals & besides the health benefits are encouraging.
But I knew I had to embrace the spiritual journey I was being called upon & do the inner work.
I used breathing, grounding & mindful tips to help me manage the worst of my menopause symptoms. I became unapologetic about my self-care. And I took time to slow down, turn inwards & heal & it began to work.
Self-care is no longer something I do, it is part of by being. I know instinctively what I need to do when times get stressful. Sometimes it’s more yoga, sometimes I take a break. I invariably meditate more & spend longer out in nature.
Recently my mum was unexpectedly taken into hospital. It was a stressful time that many in the sandwich generation experience. I found myself taking longer walks in the beautiful countryside surrounding our home to ground myself in the centering energy of nature. I sought out more company with friends to bring a much needed injection of joy & fun to light me up & balance the hormones of stress.
Just this weekend we went to London for the Jubilee celebrations. Up at 4am we were by barriers on Pall Mall by 6.30am to watch the Trooping of the Colour. It was an unforgettable experience.
I loved seeing my son curled up in coat taking time for himself once we were in situ, channeling his own innate teenage version of self-care. And it is a joy to see my kids nurturing their own self-care & it is very much a part of their being too.
As soon as we returned home & I went straight out with the dog & ended up taking a break from social media. Having been immersed in other people’s energy for a couple of days, it was time to protect my own & I enjoyed a welcome break from posting for a couple of days. This was an act of pure self-care.
Is taking a break from social media an act of self-care for you? What else is self-care for you?